


Cold Cold Man

by lucydwrites



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF, thorcid
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other, not the first time but my first time writing smut, these were the days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 15:59:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13791132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucydwrites/pseuds/lucydwrites
Summary: "Shane always felt like an outsider; but not in the common sense of the word. He was always outside, of his own body, his thoughts running miles ahead him as he fell behind. The kids at school questioning why the sky was blue while he was thinking about why dead stars would still shine, and what terrible thing have happened to the zombie stars."





	1. Chapter 1

Shane always felt like an outsider; but not in the common sense of the word. He was always outside, of his own body, his thoughts running miles ahead him as he fell behind. The kids at school questioning why the sky was blue while he was thinking about why dead stars would still shine and what terrible thing happened to the zombie stars.

He looked at the studio full of paintings, outfits hanging everywhere, props and all things together. It was a portrait of his soul. He was sitting on the floor trying to make some sense to the many letters, fan art drawings and bottles of mustard he’s received throughout his wandering post Drag Race. Ragga entered the room holding a bottle and a glass of wine to sat on the floor by his friend side. A low music was playing on the background, Ragga was in charge of the playlist that night, so something past the 70′s was playing. Shane didn't’ know what song was playing, but it was cheerful and the lyrics were speaking to him. All songs were love songs in his state of mind.

[ _But baby don’t you go overanalyze,_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of3jUuQzH2o)   
[ _No need to theorize_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of3jUuQzH2o)   
[ _I can put your doubts to rest_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of3jUuQzH2o)   
[ _You’re the only one worth seeing._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of3jUuQzH2o)   
[ _The only place worth being._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of3jUuQzH2o)   
[ _The only bed worth sleeping’s_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of3jUuQzH2o)   
[ _The one right next to you_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of3jUuQzH2o)

“Did you go through the blouses I’ve picked?” Ragga asked taking a sip on the glass as he observed Shane reading a letter with a peaceful smile.

“It’s so crazy…a year ago, this place was…” and he looked around dreamy trying to find the correct word to describe it.

“Well, a fucking mess” he shrugged.

They both chuckled sofly in awe. 

“But now I have my mess and all the love from these people…it’s crazy”

Shane was aware of his talent, and yet spending so many years of his life under dim lights made the full exposure a little overwhelming. His heart was still in New York and would always be. His heart was all over the place lately, it was difficult to recollect it.

One piece of it was in a different Brooklyn apartment.

He hasn’t seen Jamin in weeks, and he was in town. His presence lingering, like an energetic field, he could almost feel him pulling him closer in bed, his hand grabbing his stomach even though Shane was self conscious about it which made him grab even harder.

_“I’m heading to the gym tomorrow and you’ll have nothing to grab on. You’ll see!"_

Two days ago Becky was rushed to the hospital for an appendix surgery and he was taking care of her and all things you need to put on hold when you’re travelling that much. They were still texting each other, but Jamin was quieter. He knew he was taking care of his business, and Jamin always needed his space. He was completely aware of that. And yet, the thoughts were running ahead him. The crippling insecurity building up.

"I’ve found…” Ragga cleared her throat anticipating the delicate subject, and noticing that his friend was miles away.

"Some clothes from Betty here…and some suspicious daddy sneakers"

Shane laughed a little bit embarrassed. He felt his face burning red.

“Um..yeah, just leave it there…” he rubbed his forehead.

Shane didn’t want to explain that Acid Betty was now part of the apartment. Raga knew what was happening but he also knew his friend. Acid and Jamin were everywhere. His toothbrush. His shaving cream. Her bottles of spray. Her Drag Con jumpsuit. As a hoarder, Shane never bothered him to picked them up. He collected and treasured the traces of his existence around the house. He checked his cellphone and saw Jamin’s message from a days ago:

JAMIN: Becky is recovering just fine. I’m gonna kill someone at work. I’m craving for cornflakes pancakes.

He missed him like crazy and wanted Jamin all for himself. And that made him feel terrible because it was petty, clingy, childish and fucking ridiculous. But it was there, before he could even rationalize. He caught himself fighting against the wave of insecurity, the questions coming back and forth….

_Doesn’t he miss me?_

_He got tired._

_He found out that I’m not interesting enough._

_We should just stay friends. This never happened._

_I’m not attractive enough._

“Are you ok, girl?” Ragga asked after the few seconds of melancholy silence by Shane staring at the phone.

“Yeah!” he replied shaking his head fast putting the cell phone away. “I have one hundred unread messages that I don’t intent to" he added trying to cover up the damage of those seconds, but Ragga remained suspicious.

"If you’re missing him, just call! I just don’t understand you two…honestly”

“There’s nothing to be missed. We’re gonna see each other at some point. No need to rush anything” he assured pretending not to care and drinking from the bottle.

Ragga didn’t want to get in the subject because he knew Shane would try to act his way out. His friend was always on stage.

“I just want to make sure you’re not beating yourself up. Because I know how this head full of dreads and mystery works"

"I’m fine!” and he did his little shimmy standing up.

"Come on, show the me the blouses"

*

A few hours later after arranging the whole place, Ragga was prepared to leave when he found Shane laying on the floor attached to his second bottle of wine, half sleeping and half singing, kicking his legs up in the air. He laughed.

“Girl, I’m leaving…”

Thorgy continued singing to the song that was playing. _Cold cold man_ he discovered later was the name of the song.

“Thank you girl, I-FUCKING-LOVEYOUSEEYOUONMONDAY” he blurted out in the speed of light.

And when Raga was on the door he called her again.

“You know…” he started and stopped to burp. Ragga rolled eyes on the door waiting for him to finally formulate his sentence.

“You know when you throw a paper in the air…and the wind blows it back into your face…that’s…that’s how I’m feeling now"

Ragga heavy sighed amazed by how his friend’s mind worked. Even marinating in a bottle of wine. He left but could still listen his tipsy singing over the song from the hall.

*

Shane woke up with the distant sound of his cellphone beep. He had slept on the floor so he sat and winced feeling all sore from the ground, and tried to look for his glasses to read the message.

JAMIN: Wake up, Thorgles. Come to see me you lazy bitch.

He felt his heart speeding up and and a smile growing in his sleepy face. It was 11AM. He searched the running man emoji on his cellphone but got too impatient to find it.

He was always running.

*

  
Shane was at his door. Heart pounding like a drum. He took a deep breath.

"Get it together you idiot” he said to himself.

He took a long shower, and he was wearing the pink Acid Betty t-shirt even though he didn’t think he looked good in peachy pink. His dreads half loose and locked in a bun, holding his bag on the shoulder that seemed to weight 100 pounds.

“Hey"

Jamin welcome him opening the door with a big smile.The electricity of seeing him again going through his body.

"Hey girl!” he said hugging him and wondering if he was doing it right. Jamin’s strong arms pressing him hard.

He wasn’t alone. There were two guys and a girl on the living room he has never seen before working on their notebooks. Jamin’s apartment was messy for a change, many sketches on the floor, fabrics and wigs on the couch.

“Guys, this is boy Thorgy, mister Shane Galligan” he introduced Shane and people waved at him not caring that much.

“Thorgy, this is Amy, Nick and David. They’re Becky’s friends from work” he introduced and Shane waved at them.

“How’s Beck?” Shane asked him and Jamin finally realized he was wearing an Acid Betty t-shirt and couldn’t hide his delight.

“She’s fine. But the pain, girl. That’s why I’ll never have babies” he said looking at Shane from head to toe, like he was a painting to be analysed. He pursed his lips. Shane knew that look and felt a warm in his stomach.

“I’m cooking lunch. Come here” he warned and Shane followed his steps towards the kitchen.

The moment they entered in the kitchen their hands were all over each other, their lips locked trying to dissipate the longing, drinking themselves again. Jamin was walking and leading Shane to press him against the freezer and some magnets fell on Shane’s head making him giggle and Jamin kissed him even harder.

“God, I’ve missed your laughter” he whispered biting gently his lower lip.

“We keep defiling all places of this kitchen” Shane whispered beneath a smile, the images of how they almost broke the counter.

He felt Jamin’s hand pushing his leg up and his face buried in his neck.

“Jamin, can you come here for a sec?"

Amy’s voice from the living room interrupted their making out. 

Jamin stopped what he was doing letting go a frustrated groan and letting go of Shane.

"Ugh, she’s so fucking stupid. Honestly this interns don’t know how to do shit by themselves and-”

Shane kissed him quiet before he went full Bitter Betty mode.

“Be nice. You once were a stupid intern too” and Shane slapped his ass shooing him. But he didn’t move still not convinced to be nice.

Shane walked through the kitchen and noticed that Jamin was not kidding about cooking lunch as he noticed the uncooked pasta resting in a pan on the stove.

“You’re cooking. I’m scared, intrigued, hungry and horny” Shane said turning to him again, pouring himself a glass of water from the tap.

“Well, I do intend to eat something with the whipped cream I’ve made that’s in the freezer. But of course, after I kick these idiots off my apartment now. Buuuuut you want me to be nice so I guess I’ll just help them teaching how to paintbrush on Photoshop…” he teased him back.

“You fuckin’ idiot…” said Shane chuckling throwing some drops of water at him.

He left the room but his head was back again a few seconds peeking adorably at the entrance.

“And by the way, keep the shirt on . But when I come back I want your shorts on the floor” he popped his tongue out and winked.

Shane laughed shaking his head, dying of antecipation.


	2. As the world falls down

Jamin ended up taking too long with Becky’s interns. After their brief and fiery encounter in the kitchen, Shane decided to wait in Jamin’s bedroom. The waiting was long, and Shane sent him messages saying that he was going to leave but he never did.

JAMIN: Don’t you dare.

He would just answer in a few words, making Shane smile looking at this finest poetry of modern times. Jamin’s magnetic field kept pulling him back no matter how needy and cheap he would feel. Surrounded by all things Jamin he felt complete. He didn’t know the depth of his longing until he felt his scent on the pillow and just accepted his staying.  
He still had his taste in the mouth; he wondered how his kisses would burn but Jamin’s heart stayed cool. His was always pounding, louder than drums.

The TV was on and the bedroom was really neat and classic. Maybe the only place in Jamin’s life that wasn’t a color explosion. The last movie Jamin watched on Netflix was Labyrinth and Shane decided to go with that rewatch. His eyelids heavy as teenager Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie were dancing to “As the world falls down”. He was just thankful for that temporary peace: a complete blank on his mind, not worrying about airport schedules, or what Thorgy would wear the other day.

Another blink of an eye and Jamin was stumping in the room with no ceremony, fuming after spending that whole afternoon with those kids. Too much of group work interactions. Too much pretending to be as patient as Becky.

“They finally left Jesus fucking Christ, I’m so glad I don’t need to work with these people anymore” he just said while heading to the bathroom.

Shane adjusted himself on his elbows, still lethargic, watching Jamin washing his face delighted with his grumpiness. He always considered a personal challenge to cheer him out of his bitterness. He had a nice five o'clock shadow, and dressed with a simple black t-shirt with jeans. Shane always thought he was a handsome man, but now he just couldn’t contain his attraction. Jamin got out the bathroom and stood in front of the bed, sweeping his knees on the mattress and staring at Shane. The blue eyes almost red. He took a deep exasperated sign and placed his hands on the waist like Peter Pan.

“Come here” Shane open his arms pouting inviting him to his embrace, and feeling sorry for his tiredsome afternoon. Jamin opened a relieved smile, took off his shoes and crawled on the bed to reach Shane. He could feel his positive light warming him already.

“You need to exorcise the hate out of me…” he pleased on his knees close to Shane’s face and gave him a little peck. He maneuvered Jamin into the position he wanted, siting between his legs, using his chest as a pillow. Shane felt Jamin melting over him.

“Can I keep you as an armchair?” Jamin murmured arranging himself and Shane hugged him behind, harder, kissing the top of his head, and going along planting kisses on his cheek, ear and neck…

“This is so good…” Jamin moaned thankful, he could feel his tension dissipating with every touch of Shane’s lips on his skin.

Shane’ hands started to slowly press and let go on his shoulders, his fingers playing his shoulder blades like piano notes.They were both watching the movie, but their minds far away, Jamin’s hands gripping and caressing gently Shane’s left calf. It was his favorite part of his long legs; and a scar he had on his inner thigh, that when he would kiss there Shane would always lose it. Jamin could feel he was getting hard, the fabric of his shorts brushing on the low part of his back.

“You know…I used to jerk off to David Bowie watching this movie when I was a kid” Shane broke the silence snorting between the words as his hands went down to Jamin’s chest.

“Whaaaat?” Jamin cried outraged holding a laughter.

Jamin frowned confused with the confession but the mood wasn’t broken, he couldn’t even think about something to answer with Shane’s hands nuzzling his stomach and after sneaking under his arms…he would always do this; distract him with something funny while doing something dirty. Shane pulled him closer and his sneaky hands got inside his t-shirt. When they started this whatever-you-name-it relationship, Jamin had to get used to the fact that Shane loves to touch, to hug, and to always have physical contact. He loved to be the center of his fondling, but needed to educate himself to give back too.

Shane was focused in his happy trail, teasing the hairs…the cold hands melting with the contact of the hot skin.

“I was more like a Keifer Sutherland in The lost boys type of wanker…” he whispered trying to make sense as Shane played with his zipper.

“Oh my god, all the cast of that movie is fuckable” Shane replied excited brushing back and forward through the length of Jamin’s waistband and Jamin let go a soft moan.

“Fuck Shane…you’re killing me!” he protested letting go a frustrated sign. Shane laughed amused and his hands finally were inside his pants. Jamin opened the fly so Shane could have full access. He stroked him gently, working on his thick length while nibbling in his jawline. Jamin turned his head to kiss him. He wasn’t in a hurry, and he wanted to explore every part of Shane’s mouth. The musician was a perfectionist: he kissed in sync with his own strokes.

So Jamin prompted himself on his knees to take off the outfits that were suffocating, leaving only this Thundercats boxers on. Shane beamed looking at the vision.

“Girl, are these from Dax?” Shane asked giggling. Jamin though was not in the mood to go along with jokes and get distracted.

“Shut up and take off these shorts” he demanded.

Shane observed him with a grin and removed his shorts and boxers. He was still wearing the Acid Betty t-shirt as requested. Jamin pulled Shane’s legs abruptly and he climbed his way easily to straddle Jamin’s lap.

“Calm down, Lion-O…” Shane teased grinding over Jamin’s erection. He was holding him against his chest, throwing his head back as Jamin was kissing every part of it, the bubbles tattoos under his arm, the shoulder freckles and going to lick his nipples…Shane was swaying slowly, controlling the pace and moaning quietly with eyes closed. Even though Jamin was smaller, he managed to turn Shane and place him on his back. Shane was all fours, letting go a loud laughter in anticipation pursing lips.  
When they first got together it was difficult for Jamin to understand that Shane laughed a lot during sex. And his smile when he was coming turned out to be one of his favorite things in the universe and his constant goal.

Shane’s knees were sinking in the mattress, hands on the wall, and his drum heart beating. Jamin looked at his ass peaking through the t-shirt. Jamin held him sweetly from behind and removed his t-shirt throwing it on the floor. He stopped Shane from talking even before he opened his mouth.

“I want to kiss every inch of you…”

Shane smirked feeling confident, throwing his head behind and Jamin started to work on his cock as he brushed away his dreads to plant kisses on his nape.

“Oh fuck…just like this...” he muttered as Jamin grasped his stomach with one hand and the other one stroking him harder. Shane turned his head to side kiss Jamin and his other hand grabbed on his ass making him squirm in pleasure, his pumping never ending. Shane turned fully to face him and catch his mouth, but few seconds later Jamin turned him all fours again, lowering his body, caressing all the way his lower back softly. Next thing he knew was the feeling of Jamin’s tongue inside him, the stubble brushing his entrance. Jamin was stroking his own erection, while the other slapping Shane's cheeks, his tongue getting deeper making him wince in pleasure. To be with Jamin was to have all senses heightened. He was feeling head-lighted with the over stimulation.

“Just..ju... fuck me already…I…” he stuttered panting.

“No, I want you on top…I wanna see you” Jamin instructed in a demanding tone and he laid on his back so Shane could hop along.

"You know, you're kinda bossy in bed" replied all flustered obeying him, feeling like he was ready to fuck his brains out. Shane enjoyed the sensation of guiding Jamin inside him, carefully teasing.

"I just give the instructions, you ride" Jamin replied carresing Shane's bare hairy thighs on top of him. Shane laughed satisfied with himself feeling Jamin's eyes watching him even with eyes closed, his grunts were the response when he was finally inside of him. He could feel him all the way, and as his body was adjusting to his thickness, he eased himself to catch Jamin’s face for a kiss, his tongue playing with the ring.

He began to get in motion, his hips working with precision and flexibility, still grabbing Jamin’s face, his hot breath and moans on his face.

“You’re so fucking hot…” Jamin whispered in his ear and Shane pursed his lips proudly.

Jamin grabbed his legs hard, he knew he would have bruises the other day as he pinned him on his hips, his grip steady and strong. Shane was riding him finding a very pleasurable pace, feeling the orgasm building up and by Jamin's panting and groaning he was too. Heput his arms on the mattress fastening his pace. Few minutes later Jamin was wincing in pleasure, his face flinching.

“Shane…oh my…fuuuuuuuuck” he pleaded as the bed felt like it was collapsing.

A few more grinds and Shane felt Jamin warm inside of him, trembling. The overwheming taking over his whole body, the complete black out of his senses. But Shane kept going so he could feel it too.

“Go, babe…” was all Jamin could manage say as Shane fell over him a few minutes after, spilling on Jamin's stomach and collaping over him. Both of them were exhausted panting, their skins sensitive and red, the room was boiling. The muffled sound of the TV in the background.Shane was still over Jamin, feeling the beating of his heart, while he hugged him and kissed his sweaty forehead. After few seconds like this, he removed himself out of Jamin dropping like a dead weight on his side of the bed. Jamin grabbed some tissues from a box inside the drawer of his bedside table and started kissing Shane's chest and stomach cleaning him up and used the tissue to clean his stomach. Shane was still in such haze that he didn’t even move just looked down chuckling languid.

When Jamin finished they both stood in silence, absorbing all the unnamed things that were going on.

Not even in million years Jamin would ever guess.

The cute little twink he met 10 years ago.

His friend and New York queen.

His Thorgles.

His Shane.

The timeline proved Shane was all things together. Still drowsy, just feeling the heat of each other.

“I can’t believe we’ve fucked watching Labyrinth…” Shane broke the silence cackling. He put his hands on his face covering his laughter, Jamin was laughing hard too.

“You remind of the baby! ” Jamin went along making a terrible impersonation of David Bowie that made Shane lose it even harder.

“Baby with the power! Power of voodoooo!” he continued pulling him closer and he resisted getting away of his arms.

“STOP” he pleaded as Jamin kissed his dreads, nuzzling against his cheek. They’ve watched the rest of the movie eating everything that was on the fridge. Shane made him coffee. Jamin drank it even though it tasted like feet. Jamin’s whipped cream tasted like expired milk and sadness so Shane was glad it wasn’t used for other purpose than to fill a cake.

They’ve fell asleep. Shane’s leg over Jamin.


End file.
